How often do you take the time to thoughtfully plan out the perfect day, only for it to take a twist or turn resulting in the opposite of what was expected?
Personally, I deal with this obstacle more times than I care to admit. The simple fact of the matter is that the expectation will not always be the reality of your current situation. The best thing that we can do during these times is to accept the fact that things are not going as planned and reroute ! Now, before we can even entertain the idea of turning a negative into a positive and quickly rolling with the punches, there is definitely work to be done!
In order to move forward we must acknowledge the negative feeling that is sure to make an appearance here. That is right, I am talking about disappointment! When we set expectations there is always a chance that things will not go your way; and yes by now we all know that this is a part of life. That being said, it can be tough in the moment to navigate through the initial feeling of being disappointed.
The thing about disappointment is that the other party or parties involved will not always be able to connect the what seem to be easy dots to connect. Often our disappointment is received as anger or frustration. I will be so bold as to say that many times this is a result of how we process and deal with how that disappointment has made us feel. I know that my initial responses have ranged from appearing to be furious to heartbroken, because I have in the heat of the moment tried to articulate my disappointment without giving myself a moment to view it as such. This resulted in screaming and crying instead of actually voicing my hurt and disappointment. While this may seem extreme, we devote a lot of time, energy, and emotion into trying to make sure that things go perfect. Naturally, when they do not, it seems like all of those efforts were made in vain.
That last part is what we need to take a closer look at. Just because things are not going as we had hoped, it doesn’t mean that our intent was not demonstrated and received. While it would be great if people could see a glimpse of the heart and soul that goes into planning things to do with or for them, that is not realistic. If we remain focused on our intentions rather than our actions, we do not need to place so much power in getting the perfect response from our loved ones. Do things whole heartedly because you want to, and do them without any expectation of a particular response in return.
We have all seen the memes that say not to expect anything from anyone so that you don’t get disappointed. In moments where we get let down that is a totally normal thought to have. However it is not a healthy one! Disappointments are a part of life. We are meant to have desired outcomes. We are also meant to learn how to deal with the reality of not having all of our expectations match the perfect picture in our minds.
Acknowledge that it is ok that the outcome was not a mirror image of the expectation; then reroute your train of thought. Rather than looking at all that went “wrong” focus on all that you did right! Use that same energy to close out the day in a positive way.