As small children we are taught to say please and thank you; always being mindful of our manners. What I have grown fascinated with these days is how the meanings of certain words change over time. Allow me to explain.
At one point in life the phrase “Thank you” was somehow set to auto response and spat out after receiving anything at all. Then a little further down the line, it remained on auto response but was only dished out when receiving something that we wanted or had asked for. As an adult “Thank you” became a term of gratitude that many of us harbor ill feelings for not hearing often enough!
Now let’s address the irony in my last observation. How often do we rant and rave about feeling unappreciated and undervalued? I encourage you to really stop and think about the last week, and all of the times that you felt that you were due some sort of praise or acknowledgement.
Now I would like you to think of your significant other, dear friend, child, or sibling. Whether it is someone close to you, a co worker, or a stranger passing you by, at some point in time you should have been in a position to say “Thank you”. Perhaps you were busy struggling with the groceries, finishing up the last line of an email, or simply distracted by the million thoughts circling your brain. What I am trying to get at is the fact that more often than not, failure to actually get the phrase “Thank you ” out is not intentional!
So let’s circle back, this time with a new perspective. If we chose to look at the times where we feel like we are not receiving the praise and thanks that we deserve as a part of the daily shuffle rather than someone else neglecting our feelings, the picture looks very different. I would like to encourage you to stop and say “Thank you” to someone, for something that you may no longer acknowledge because it has become something common for them to do; even though it is still something of great value to you.
For instance, in my marriage it has become routine for my husband to walk the children and myself into our home, get us settled, and then go back out to park the car. For years now I have overlooked the fact that he could quite easily pull up and lets us hop out. However, he chooses to walk us inside, making sure that we are safe and settled before he heads back out to search for a spot often a good long walk away.
Let’s start leading by example and giving thanks in the same way we would like to receive it. Who knows, by doing so you may shed some light on the little things that you do and feel are going unnoticed. This should extend beyond your spouse or significant other. Children are watching our every move as well, show them first hand the importance of vocalizing thanks when they have done something good as well. A little positive reinforcement can go a long way!